Allow me to set the scene. I'm at my record store job as the mid-day. At the store there's an opener, a closer and a mid-day who works basically as the overlap between the two. Every shift I have the opener leaves an hour early and the closer leaves an hour late which leaves me two gloriously uninterrupted (except for customers) hours for me to play whatever music and watch whatever movie I feel like. No worries that my suggestion of Henry Rollins or the documentary Hell House falling flat or a coworker politely tuning out Rasputina or Pink (yes I said Pink). Plus it gives me time to catch up on stfuparents.tumblr.com and stfumarrieds.tumblr.com. There is a downside to this sweet deal. The two hours fall right at my dinner break. Luckily there's a pizza place, Gumbys, right next door. Not the best pizza in town but good in a pinch. The pizza was coming, it would have banana peppers and it was cheap.
It's so beautiful
I danced to the front when it arrived and did my happy pizza dance in honor of my dinner. In front of me was girl, blonde hair, black t-shirt, combat boots, seemed to be of the punk persuasion, renting out some dvd's. She took one look at my highly anticipated meal and remarked,
"Never eat Gumby's food,"
I was stunned at first, my pizza rug almost pulled from under me and hesitantly responded,
"Well if you're going to have that idea... then you really can't eat anywhere in town,"
"I used to work in their kitchen. I could tell you some stories,"
Now mind you my pizza from said SUSPICOUS store had just arrived RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. I continued to passively argue,
"Well I've worked in almost every kitchen in this town, I pretty much know what goes down,"
I was getting a bit defensive of my poor innocent pizza, sitting there vulnerable and exposed the lid hanging open, it's warmth drifting away in the air-conditioning.
"I only prepare my own food,"
What? WHAT? Do you have a farm? I wasn't aware you slaughtered your own cow and made your own mountain dew from fresh fucking dew of the early morning rolling down the mountainside mixed with your stash of meth!
garfieldminusgarfield.net is the shit
I'm sure everyone's had that person. That person who waits until the Big Mac is in your mouth to state all of McDonald's atrocities. That person who tells you the funny internet story you're recounting rots the brain. That person who responds to your excuse of car trouble with "That's why I ride a bike,". That one quick syncopated loaded sentence is enough to make you set a field on fire rather than let them see they got under your skin so easily. I hearby declare all such people are to be referred to as a Gumbys Girl.
Here are the rules of sharing your opinion as I see it.
1) Don't challenge a person with your opinion. Facts are concrete. Opinions are just what you think. They're not solid weapons you can wield and expect everyone to respect.
2) Don't get short and nasty if someone doesn't go with your particular train of thought. I'm of the opinion that sloths are terrifying but I don't expect people of the street to take my pamphlets on Sloth Awareness. Their funeral.
3) PICK THE RIGHT FUCKING TIME. The time to express your opinion is not when a person in engaged in that activity. You don't tell a friend driving you to work "Thanks, if my knee wasn't shot I wouldn't need a ride. I try to walk everywhere because cars just add fuel to the fire burning in the middle east... get it?" Fuck your pun, you're an ass.
Now I think I know what someone might say to Rule 3. "But anonymous internet stranger, what if that person is doing something that hurt them or something around them? Shoudn't you say something?"
There are activities that are dangerous and we know this because it is a fact and stating a fact is not stating your opinion. If a friend is smoking meth and you say, "Meth will alter your brain with the first try" that is a proven fact. If a person is lighting a bush on fire and you say "You could set this whole forest on fire where is that unicorn?" that is a fact. A bush fire can spread and ignite the things around it and you probably shouldn't be tripping with matches in the first place.
Fact:Proven
Opinion:You own ideas so follow the rules.
Don't be a Gumby's Girl and fuck with my pizza.
l
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